Struggling with unworthiness

Life really is a puzzle that is many times difficult to figure out. I am so thankful for my relationship with Jesus and the promise of salvation I have. Why don't I show that thankfulness more? I get so mad at myself sometimes. The least I could do is take some time out of each day to talk to Him and read His word. Why can't I make that happen? I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I can't even to that which makes me ask how in the world I deserve all He has given me. Because I am still adapting to life widowed person, I think I have put so much energy into keeping myself busy with other things which includes not spending much time at home. I really need to rethink that and do better at doing the things that truly count. That will be my prayer tonight.