Another hurdle overcome

Since my husband died in November, I have constantly encountered hurdles that I have had to overcome. This week I overcame yet another. When he was alive and I had to travel for my job, the phone calls that happened while I was gone were numerous. He asked that I call him when I was on my way to the airport, when I got to the airport, when I got through security, when I was on the plane, when the plane landed at my destination, when I got to the hotel---I think you get the idea. On Tuesday I took my first trip since he died and there was a huge aspect of my travel missing. I didn't have him to call. It was a very lonely feeling knowing there wasn't anyone at home who was worrying about me. The comforting thing is I know he was watching over me from heaven. Thanks for being my angel Honey.

Struggling with unworthiness

Life really is a puzzle that is many times difficult to figure out. I am so thankful for my relationship with Jesus and the promise of salvation I have. Why don't I show that thankfulness more? I get so mad at myself sometimes. The least I could do is take some time out of each day to talk to Him and read His word. Why can't I make that happen? I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I can't even to that which makes me ask how in the world I deserve all He has given me. Because I am still adapting to life widowed person, I think I have put so much energy into keeping myself busy with other things which includes not spending much time at home. I really need to rethink that and do better at doing the things that truly count. That will be my prayer tonight.

Can it continue?

I have always been very cognizant of the need to try and be as healthy as I can. I was doing pretty good with this up until the time my husband got sick in March 2006. It has just been so hard to get in the routine again of getting my butt out of bed at 5:00am since he passed away. Well--I am happy to report I just returned from a morning walk for the second day in a row. The world really is a beautiful place at 5:00am! Hopefully I can continue this practice on a daily basis. My overall health is counting on it!

A shopper I am not

I know some people who consider shopping a sport and wonder why it hasn't been added as a formal Olympic event. I have never been a fan of shopping. In fact, most of my shopping is done via the Internet whenever possible. I even get my groceries via the web thanks to Simon Delivers now delivering to my area. I often wonder what is wrong with me. I am of the female gender and hate to shop. Next weekend we are celebrating my brother-in-law's birthday so I decided this afternoon I better try and find a gift for him. That meant I had to actually venture out to a store. Yikes! Luckily he had given me some suggestions. I got so lucky today. Not only did I find some great shirts for him but a store employee walking around the store gave me 25% of coupons. A bargain! Maybe this shopping thing isn't so bad after all!

All God's Creatures

I know that God made all creatures for a reason. Most of the time I love watching those creatures venture around the earth like they don't have a care in the world. Lately, however, I have not been so fond of the deer that reside in my development. I love to garden and watch the things I plant flourish and grow. However--things cannot flourish and grow when the deer chew off all of the new growth!!! OK--maybe that will help me feel better. I got a big bottle this great stuff (OK--it is not so great smelling but it works) from my Mom called Deer Pharm. It kept the deer away as long as I used it but now the bottle is gone and the deer have done their thing again. Lucky for me, I found a website to order more the stuff since I can't find it in any store. The deer won't be so lucky any more after the stuff comes!

Age is just a number---right?

Most of the time I don't think a lot about age. I have often just thought of it as a number as I didn't feel like I was getting any older. That opinion has come into question more often lately---particularly Friday morning of last week. I was invited to play on a sand volleyball team in Hudson on Thursday nights and last Thursday was our first night. I played volleyball on a regular basis up until 8 years ago. Who would think it would feel so different now? As I rolled out of bed on Friday morning with my sore muscles, I was quickly reminded exactly how old I have gotten. I am hoping the pain lessens as the weeks go by. :o)

Memories

I am totally new to this blogging thing. However I must admit this brings back memories of an online experience from the past. Back in May 1999, after completing graduate school, I decided to try an online dating site. Of note--this is not something I would normally do. I was encouraged to do so by a fellow graduate student who was afraid I was not going to know what to do with all of my time since I wouldn't have to study any more. As part of the set-up, I was asked to choose a "code" name for the site. I struggled with what to choose as a name when suddenly I remembered something one of the patients I cared for that day in the hospital said to me. He called me his "Careangel" because of the care I provided for him that day. Because I couldn't think of anything else, I decided to go with that. Little did I know what that name would mean for my future.

Someone else decided to try the online dating site around the same time. This wasn't something he had ever done before either but something told him to give it a try. While searching the site, he came upon the ad written by "Careangel". He didn't know what that name signified but he was curious. That "someone" was my husband Gerrell---who passed away in November of last year. Because using an online service like that was out of character for both of us, we were convinced from the beginning that God brought us together. Why else would we both decide to try this at the same time? God knew Gerrell was going to need a "Careangel". God works in mysterious ways, doesn't he?